I Like Your Beard
by memories.of.rain
Summary: Bilbo just had to open his mouth a complement Thorin's beard didn't he?
1. What just happened?

**I might as well join the fun and write a Hobbit fanfiction, right? **

**Disclamir: I OWN NOTHING! All rights belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, not me.**

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It had started out like any other day on this blasted journey to reclaim the thirteen dwarves' home; too early and not enough food, though to be fair, Bilbo thought he was handling this very well, all things considered. He had gone from eating seven meals a day to two, sometimes three and was glad he had started the journey with a bit of extra padding as he had lost almost all of it. A stray hair fell in front of his face and brought him out of his thoughts of food.

With a huff, Bilbo brushed the fly away hair from his eyes and turned his gaze to his companions. Oin and Gloin seemed to be having some sort of heated debate, though the yelling could be because of Oin not using his ear horn. Bombour was busy preparing dinner for the Companion, something that Bilbo was pleased about. Continuing his look around, he watched Bifur and Bofur speak in Iglishmêk, something Bilbo thought he would never truly understand, but the two seemed to be enjoying themselves. Drifting his eyes away from the pair he watched as Fili and Kili tried to rile up Dwalin, who was on self appointed guard duty.

Bilbo was going to stop the pair from bothering the poor dwarve, when he spotted Thorin out of the corner of his eye. He watched with interest as Thorin ran his fingers through his beard, grooming the thick hair that inched along his jaw and around his mouth. It was embarrassing to say that Bilbo had never really seen someone with a beard, except Gandalf, before he joined the Company. Hobbits didn't really have the ability to grow facial hair, not that they had trouble growing hair on their feet though.

He examined the well groomed beard and its slightly peppered hair and couldn't stop his mouth from uttering the words from his observations, "You're beard is quite lovely."

The whole camp seemed to stop and stare at Bilbo, whose face flushed a brilliant red. Thorin's harsh gaze bore into him and Bilbo winced at the intensity. "Do you mean that, Halfling?" Thorin asked, his body leaving its seated position and striding toward Bilbo.

Bilbo's body tensed and he began to quiver in fright. "Y-Y-Yes, I did, b-but I-I-I meant no offense," he argued, his eyes widening at Thorin's continued approach.

Thorin now stood in front of Bilbo and gazed into his eyes. Thorin reached his hand up and Bilbo clenched his eyes shut, waiting for the impact. Instead of a flash of pain, his cheek was caressed by thick, callused hands. His eyes opened wide as the hand drifted and pet his right ear, causing a shiver to run down his spine.

"Then I, Thorin Oakenshield, Son of Thrain, son of Thoror, King Under the Mountain, accept your courtship, Bilbo Baggins," Thorin said firmly. Bilbo's eyes widened further at the statement. "I will court you as well, have no fear, your feelings are reciprocated."

Bilbo nodded his head weakly as cheers erupted around him. He had to force himself not to glare at Thorin's beard. How was he supposed to know that a complement to a dwarves' beard meant courtship?

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**I hope you all enjoyed that and please review if you have the time!**


	2. Courting is hard, or is it?

**Wow, I didn't realize that this would be so popular XD Thank you all for enjoying the first part. As a reward (and due to MANY requests at another chapter) I present: CHAPTER 2! I hope it meets all of your standards, if not feel free to tell me where I can improve.**

**Disclamir: I do not, and will never own _The Hobbit _by J.R.R. Tolkien.**

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Bilbo still had no idea what he was supposed to do in dwarven courtship. He had tried listening to Balin's explanation, but had gotten lost somewhere between courting beads and ceremonial hellos. But Bilbo was a Baggins of Bag End and had just pretended to listen, nodding his head at what he thought were the right points, while he thought of a saying he had muttered aggressively to himself: never venture east. It was one phrase he should have remembered before all this mess happened, but he couldn't bring himself to hate it.

Sometimes he would wonder what his family would think of his courtship with the King Under the Mountain. Oh, the gossip would be horrendous! Though he'd give up quite a few of his silver spoons to see the look on those nasty Sacksville-Baggins's faces. He could practically feel Lobelia's mortification from here.

Before he could continue his thought, Thorin approached him. 'Confound it all! Let's hope we don't make fools of ourselves'.

It surprised him that he wasn't the only one who messed up in this whole courting business. Just the other evening, Thorin had offered to make him a pair of shoes for the rest of the journey. _**Shoes**_! For a hobbit no less. Bilbo had never felt more insulted in his life and told Thorin as such.

Strong feet were a proud trait of hobbits and to have it questioned so openly was a high insult. With the right approach one could be fined for such a thing in the Shire.

When Thorin found this out he apologized for his ignorance, saying he would never intentionally harm his partner in any way. It was amusing to watch the proud dwarf stumble over his words. Granted, he wasn't the only one who messed up, but that wasn't important right now.

"Bilbo," Thorin said calmly, like he hadn't been calling him 'the hobbit' for the entirety of this blasted journey until now. It was strange, being acknowledge by Thorin now, but he decided that it was for the best. "Would you like some of my stew?"

Sweet Valar he was not hearing things was he? Despite his doubts he saw it right in front of him, a bowl of stew, already half eaten, offered to him from the hands of his courter. He couldn't believe it. His family would be doing a jig about now if they could see it.

"A-are you certain?" Bilbo asked, his voice quivering with anticipation. He hoped so, oh, he _hoped_.

Thorin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and looked at him oddly before saying clearly, "Yes, if that is what you wish."

Bilbo was certain he let out the most undistinguished noise as he stood up and propelled himself at Thorin. The dwarf stumbled back a few steps, trying not to spill the stew on either of them. What had gotten into the hobbit?

Bilbo turned his eyes into the dwarves' eyes. He brought his hand up to caress his beard. "I had no idea you were so passionate about this, Thorin," he said quietly. "Why did you not tell me that we were already married in all but documentation?"

Thorin's eyes widened and he tried to form a response, but he couldn't.

_He really had screwed this whole courting thing up… At least he's happy._

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**That's it! I'm sorry it wasn't longer, but I couldn't think of what more to write. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! *gives you all a plate of cookies and a glass of milk* THANK YOU! Review if you have time! :D**


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